I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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