I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize