I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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