now i know why i became what i already was.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize