I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
