I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
