But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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