with your own penis?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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