Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
