We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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