But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
