these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
