i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
His nipple licking is glorious
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