In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
