This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do vagina's smell?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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