Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
