Non-Jews are for practice
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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