Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
