Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
