:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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