doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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