what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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