Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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