Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
