why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
