No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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