Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
