He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize