I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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