that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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