First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
