I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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