At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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