Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
