this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
