yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
