how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
