Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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