Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
