Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
