Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
