Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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