Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
