Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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