I bet he comes in French.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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