Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
