I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Actions speak louder than pants.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize