We're facebook friends in real life
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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