Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
