What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
