I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
