Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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