You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If that was your dad, he is hot
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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