Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
