69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
