so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
