im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
