that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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