It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
