hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
worst night to have a conscience
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
