i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
