I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
