I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
