we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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