...so i touched it.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
