So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
