If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
