Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize