found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
