Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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