I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
