Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
